Permission to Take a Dump
A friend called me the other day.
She hit rock bottom in the pit of exhaustion.
I won't go into details, but I could tell she might benefit from an emotional dump.
An emotional what?
An emotional dump is a process of letting go of the emotions and thoughts that are constipating you, making you sick, and possibly keeping you stuck.
The key to healthy dumping (aka: venting) is when you have permission from the listener to spill your thoughts. The listener has given consent, there are boundaries, possibly time limits, and the listener is in a place to actively listen.
After my friend's release, she stopped crying. Her words got lighter.
The part of her beating herself up got smaller, and her compassionate self started showing up.
Later she texted me thanking me for giving her "permission to fall apart."
Permission.
You hold it together for your families, your friends, your job.
Mostly with a smile on your face.
When you finally let a feeling out that is considered "emotional," you might apologize.
"I'm sorry for crying."
"I'm sorry, I'm so angry."
"I'm sorry I feel this way, but..."
Have you ever apologized for feeling happy? Probably not.
So why do you apologize for other feelings?
Falling apart is okay. It's human.
Giving yourself permission to feel and express those emotions is essential.
Better out than in.
So here is a permission slip for you to have an emotional dump whenever you need it.
Emotional Dumping Steps & Guidelines
It's particularly beneficial when you're flooded with emotions and struggling to connect to your compassionate Self. It's best to do this with someone you feel safe with and can also be done alone.
Step 1:
Write out the following on a piece of paper:
I am sad because...
I am angry about...
I am afraid because...
I am disgusted because...
I trust that...
I am surprised about...
I am excited for...
I feel joy because…
Add in other feelings if you would like. Make sure they aren’t faux feelings.
Feel free not to answer any prompts above that don't feel relevant to your situation.
Step 2:
Answer the prompts by either speaking them out loud or writing them down.
General guidelines for doing this with a partner:
Read the prompts out loud to the person who is emotionally dumping.
Do not interrupt the person with comments or opinions.
Do not try to find solutions or fix the feeling.
Listen and hold space.
End on a positive feeling.
Take a couple of deep breaths together when finished
Connect by affirming. “You’re okay. Your feelings are valid. Letting go helps you.”
A hug helps too.
Have a nice dump!
And as always, reach out with questions. I’m always happy to connect.
